My Relationship with Makeup



To say I love makeup would be an understatement. I've worked with it professionally for the past three years, and have loved it since the first time I saw my mother smoothing her signature "Candlelit Dreams" Covergirl eye shadow over her eyelids (they no longer make this...my poor mom). I remember when I was finally old enough to try my own hand at it (without looking like a complete clown... I said complete, okay?). Three words remind me of this phase: BLUE EYE SHADOW. When I say blue I mean like B.L.U.E. 

It was bright and electric. I loved it so much that this phase lasted through high school, until I went through my angsty phase. That phase was not always pretty, I have to say, but my mom always let me streak my hair with fun colors. It was a time of beauty rebellion. Black eye shadow was my desert island staple and I wore red glosses like they were going out of style. Eventually, I grew tired of the dark eye shadow and started to broaden my horizons somewhat.

These phases are so funny to remember now. Looking back, I realize how little I knew about makeup and the world in general, really. We all do that when we think of our past selves. Our past selves are different people, like friends we used to know. I always wonder how my future self will feel about my current self. Hopefully she'll think, "Wow, Past Kayla really nailed that phase of our life." 
One can only hope!

All of this said, yesterday was great! Yesterday marked a week post-op. The last week has consisted of me laying around, unable to do very much, and indulging in endless Netflix. I have hardly worn any makeup the past week, and I was dying to play with my entire collection the minute I could. Yesterday I finally felt like pulling myself together, and this was the result!


I'm not a huge fan of false lashes usually, but I had some on hand from a previous Ipsy bag, so I figured 

WHY NOT. 


Here's a run down of the products I used:

Skin:
Mac Pro-Longwear Foundation- NW13
Estee Lauder Double Wear Brush-On Glow BB Highlighter- Extra Light
Clinique Perfectly Real Compact- 102

Cheeks:
Too Faced Milk Chocolate Soleil Bronzer
Clinique Blushing Blush Powder Blush- Precious Posy
The Balm Mary-Lou Manizer

Eyes:
Urban Decay Primer Potion
Mac Nylon
Naked 2 Palette
NYX Jumbo Eye Pencil- Milk
Bella Pierre Waterproof Gel Eyeliner Pencil
J. Cat False Lashes
Clinique High Impact Extreme Mascara

Brows:
Clinique Instant Lift for Brows- Soft Blonde

Lips:
Too Faced La Creme- Marshmallow Bunny

EDIT- I am in the process of switching to completely cruelty free products.




I have been feeling very reflective recently. This is what happens when things begin to change. Change is necessary and unavoidable, I'm sure you've noticed. It's also not always easy to embrace because our habits become so safe and familiar to us. 
Why leave comfort for something scary and unknown?

Here are some things I've been focusing on lately to keep myself from going insane:


1. Finding beauty in small things. Pollen aside, the world in bloom is a beautiful one. 


2. Seeing Brand New again this month- this time with Stephen!



3. A visit from my best friend before she moves far, far away to Australia!
4. Stephen brought this amazing chocolate back from his trip to CA this month. 
How cute is that packaging?! Also, one of the chocolates had bananas in it!


5. Stephen! He has been the most supportive, loving, and caring person I could have ever asked for. He has been proud of my accomplishments and encouraging every step of the way. I am so lucky to have spent 6 years with this person. 


Among difficult or stressful times, it can be easy to focus on things that don't make us happy and don't fulfill us. I've been so guilty of this behavior for most of my life, so I've been trying to switch up my old, bad patterns to improve my life and take charge of my happiness. 

I've learned recently, YOU are in charge of your life. 
Sometimes you have to change your mindset and create your own pathways. 

Try thinking about what brings you joy and focus on those things instead of the negativity!